Maui or bust

This Friday Greg and I will be boarding an airplane and traveling to Maui for 8 days.  We are going to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  We have talked about this trip since our honeymoon on Kauai. We booked our trip in December and it's finally go time!

   This last weekend I was going to go have a pedicure when I landed in the ER instead. I developed a blood clot in my right arm called a DVT.  The Maui trip was in limbo.  I immediately was started on blood thinner injections and was instructed to see my oncologist on Monday. I will be on blood thinners for three months and I need to have a procedure this Thursday.

Even though this trip isn't exactly what we had planned I feel extremely blessed to be going.   I can't wait to spend some quality time with my husband.
   

Cancer free, but not free from cancer.

(Don't let the title throw you, I am not in a perpetual state of fear, just realistic about how a cancer diagnosis will impact my life forever.)

    After a long year of surgeries and cancer treatment (chemo sucks) I can finally say I am done!

    What an experience, it's hard to even think about everything that I have gone through.  Honestly some of it I don't want to, so I'll just block it out. One thing that I will always remember is everyone who stood with me, prayed for me and just loved me. If that's you Thank You!

    Life is getting back to "normal" and I feel I can be me again. Even though things are becoming more "normal" I know they will never be the same as before my diagnosis. My kids will ask questions that most won't understand. They become a little different if anyone in the house is sick and in bed. They talk about bald Mommy.  You know the fun stuff. I won't even go into what goes through my mind every time I have a cough. That being said these things do not happen on a daily basis. 

    I think it is safe to say that I am cancer free, but I'll never be free of cancer.

Team Huber

  This lovely group of people ran a 5K last weekend.  The best part they did it for me!  Thank You so much for showing your support and all the encouraging words that help me fight this battle everyday.  I also want to recognize two people who ran on Sunday.  Amy ran a half marathon (I'm tired just typing that)  and Ellie ran a 10K.  You are all amazing!

(Front) Jonnie, Tina, Becky, Rachelle, Crystal, Angie, Justine, Genny,

(Back) Aimee, Michelle, Sheila, Connie, Jen, Vince, Kate, Rory, Blake, Natalie, Lisa

Not pictured Amy, Stephanie, Ellie.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

  It's official the hair is leaving my head.  I'm not upset or sad about my hair loss, (yet) I'm just not prepared for it.  I don't know if you can prepare yourself for something like that.  I have taken hair for granted all my life and now will understand how important it is for my self image, keeping me warm at night, and the way others see me including my children.  I think that one thing that really bothers me is I will look "sick".  Before no one knew I had cancer unless I had told them but now the world will know.  I am preparing myself for the days ahead when strangers will stare and children will...... well, be children.  I will be embracing my baldness, no wig for me, who wants to wear a hot, itchy wig in July?  No Thank You!  Instead I will be trying other methods of covering my head, hats, scarves, etc.  If anybody knows of great ways to cover ones head please share.  On another note I have my second dose of chemo this Thursday.  The first dose was pretty terrible but I think that it could have been worse.  Continued prayers for little to no side effects would be wonderful.  

Busy week

   Tomorrow I go back to the hospital for a minor surgical procedure.  I will be having a permanent port placed. Also called a port-a-cath.  If you don't know what that is I will explain.  It is a device that will be implanted under the skin and it is used to administer all of my chemo and herceptin treatments. It is inserted into a large vein.  This will prevent me from having to have an IV and it will make it easier to have blood work/labs done.

(Here is a picture of a port-a-cath)

   I am scheduled Thursday to receive my first dose of chemo.  I'm not really sure what to expect as some people have almost no side effects and some people have debilitating side effects.  (Prayer for little to no side effects would be great!)  

   On another note I wanted to post a song that I just love.  No matter what I go through in life this song is so relevant. 

Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've recieved I will sow

The Plan

   Surgery went well and now we are hopeful for a speedy recovery.  After I have healed my surgeon will give us the green light to begin treatment for the invasive cancer.

   As I said in my last post we went to see an oncologist.  I have been sitting on this information waiting for it to sink in. Here it goes.  The tumor came back as HER 2 +, which is a very fast growing, aggressive type of cancer.  In the past the prognosis was for this diagnosis was not very good.  Luckily for us there is a new drug specifically for HER 2 + cancer.  This drug is called Herceptin and it has only been available for 6 years. Because of this drug the prognosis is very good.

   The treatment plan also includes two different types of chemo.  Every three weeks I will go and have an infusion of chemo/herceptin.  I will need 6 doses of chemo, but a whole year of herceptin.  I don't know what to expect and am worried about being sick.  The doctor has explained that the chemo will wipe me out and I shouldn't expect to do much for a week after infusion.  Nausea is to be expected.  And yes I will lose my hair.  I recently cut it, I want to have control over the amount of hair I lose and I will probably just shave it off when it starts to fall out.  Those clippers I bought at Costco last year are going to come in handy.  We are estimating that this will all begin the first or second week of May.

Two steps back

   This Friday I am scheduled for another surgery.  One of the incisions is not healing properly.  My surgeon had been hopeful that it would resolve on it's own, but after close monitoring there is not enough improvement.  I was starting to feel better and now I have to take a couple steps back.  
   Today I see the medical oncologist and hopefully we will get some answers.  Specifically what kind of treatment we can anticipate.  As far as I understand radiation is off the table but chemo is still a possibility as well as more targeted therapy depending on the type of tumor we are dealing with.
  

 Thank You for all of your continued prayers.

Solidarity

Solidarity- willingness to give psychological and or material support when another person is in a difficult position. 

     While going to a doctors appointment I was witness to an act of solidarity.  It was so moving and I have not been able to stop thinking about it.  A man walked out of the elevator and I noticed he was wearing hot pink sneakers and behind him walked his wife...bald with a pink ribbon scarf.  He was standing with his wife because not only was it her fight but it was their fight.  Evidently this woman and I have something in common, we both have (or had?) breast cancer and we both have husbands who exhibit solidarity.

     This week has been overwhelming both physically and emotionally, but I have been shown true solidarity by so many.  We have been fed, prayed for and helped in multiple ways.

     I want to share the results of my pathology.  As many of you know I opted for a double mastectomy.  My right breast is was cancer free.  The lymph nodes right and left came back negative for cancer (great news).  My left breast had a type of non-invasive cancer called DCIS.  Over  40% of my left breast was cancerous.  The hard part is that there was an area of invasive cancer found.  What does this mean?  We really don't know, the treatment will depend on the type of tumor that was found.  Hopefully we will see an oncologist soon and have more answers.  

     Thank you for the continued support of my family and for supporting me.

Let your hope make you glad.  Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.

Romans 12:12

Calm

   Surgery is scheduled (in 2 days) bags packed, lists made, in-home care arranged, sitters scheduled.
I am ready to begin the next chapter.  To be cancer free and begin my recovery.  I have been blessed abundantly by family and friends with meals after surgery, multiple offers of help and most importantly with prayer.
  
 This experience has been surreal and sometimes I just know it isn't really happening, but it is and I have come to accept it.  Really I am ready to be done with the whole ordeal because I am having quite a bit of pain.  It feels like pain that is trying to kill me and I know after surgery the pain will represent the life I get to keep living.
  
 I feel surprisingly calm moving closer to my surgery date.  Sure I'm scared and I cry sometimes, but I mostly cry when I realize that I am loved and do not have to do this on my own.  Thank you so much to everyone who has been standing with me through this.  I am ready to look forward and I pray that I can stay strong.

Surgery

Surgery has been scheduled.  I will be having my procedure on March 22nd.  We don't know what time surgery is but we do know that we are in for a long day.

Two hours before surgery I will have radioactive tracers injected in to me, then we wait for them to land in my lymph nodes.  This is an important step because they will be removing some of my lymph nodes to check for cancer.  If they are "clean" then I get to keep the rest of my lymph nodes.

Surgery is approximately 4 hours with 2 hours being the breast removal and then 2 more hours for reconstruction. (I will be beginning my reconstruction immediately but won't be done with this part for months.)

I expect to be in the hospital for 1-2 nights.  Then I will go home to begin my recovery.

Thank You for all of your continued prayers.

Test results are in

I just received the call this morning.  My BRCA test (genetic test) came back negative.  I do not have a genetic mutation that makes me more prone to breast cancer!  Such a relief, I have been thinking non-stop about my sisters and my children.

Now I am left with other questions floating around in my mind, why do I have a breast cancer diagnosis at age 34.  I have been doing some reading and was surprised that alot of women will have breast cancer for 8-10 years before a diagnosis.  This makes me question the way preventative screening is done.  If you have been reading my blog then you know that I really had to advocate for myself to get the tests I needed.  In hindsight I think that this all started last May when I had some changes to my breast tissue.  I had a mammogram and ultrasound then and was told that I had benign cysts and a normal mammogram.  Months later I started having lots of pain that I thought was related to cysts and something that I would have to live with.  This time around I was also told that I had cysts, these are different cysts than before and there are multiple areas on my mammogram.  That being said I only had one of these areas biopsied because of the way they presented on the MRI.  When I saw my surgeon a couple weeks ago she told me that there could be other areas of cancer in my breast.  The cancer they found is DCIS (stage 0) grade 3.  The grade 3 is concerning because it means that it is very aggressive.  I have to be prepared for the fact that I could have more cancer and that some of it may be invasive.

I have an appointment with my surgeon this Thursday, this will be a pre-op appointment.  I will be having surgery soon.  I don't have an exact date but I would not be surprised if it is next week.  I will be having a bilateral Mastectomy.  This may seem extreme but it is the right choice for me and my family.  My chances of recurrence are very high with lumpectomy and are at least 30% in the healthy breast.  I cannot have this threat looming over my life so I choose to be proactive.

Thank you for all your support and prayers they are appreciated and I am sure they are the reason that I have been able to keep a level head through all of this.  I ask for continued prayer, please pray that there would be no invasive cancer and no lymph node involvement.

Where I am at

Today is 1 week since my diagnosis of DCIS.  This week has been fairly busy with 3 Dr appts.  I went to see an Oncologist on Tuesday and had blood work done.  We are waiting on this blood work before scheduling surgery.  To be honest I do not believe the results will have any impact on our surgical decisions.  (More on that later)  The testing is called BRCA 1 and 2 and they are gene mutations that may help us understand why I have cancer at such a young age (34).  We are in waiting mode, but after the last few weeks it is welcome.  I have had seven appts in 14 days and my daughter has been asking lots of questions and has been clingy.  

When I first was diagnosed I heard this song and it really hit me where I was.  I listened to it a few times and wept.  Tears of fear and tears of trust.  Such a beautiful song it will always remind me of this time.  

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

(Plumb, Need you now)

This is happening?

*Warning*  This is going to be a long post but bear with me.  I need to share what has been happening.
     
Saturday February 2nd I made a startling discovery, I had blood on my nightshirt and it was coming from my left nipple. (TMI)  When I saw it I let out a gasp and my daughter asked me what was wrong?  Uh...nothing, quietly/frantically waving Greg into the hall.  (I have been waking up with a small amount blood on my shirt for months and was never sure of it's origins.)  This being a Saturday what's a person to do,  I googled it.  I felt assured by my search results, all signs pointed to a benign cause.  Monday I would call Dr. M and see what she wanted to do.

Monday I called and went in for a mammogram and ultrasound.  There was no clear reason for my symptoms.  I spoke to the Radiologist and he assured me he saw nothing but clusters of cysts.  He recommended seeing a surgeon.  I went home not satisfied with the lack of answers. Tuesday I called  Dr. M (my gyn) and discussed the results of the mammogram/US.  She referred me to a surgeon.  I asked for an MRI and she seemed to think that it was a reasonable request.  I was told to be patient as it could take up to 2 weeks for the authorization.  The authorization came within hours and I had an MRI 2 days later.

Feb 11th I had an appt with a surgeon Dr. D.  We discussed the mammogram findings and she felt that my symptoms were caused by the cysts.  At this time she discussed additional imaging studies and she did not feel they would be helpful.  I informed her that I had already had an MRI ( I was surprised that she hadn't been aware of my MRI as I had called her office to make sure she reviewed them).  After she had a chance to review the MRI results the plan changed.  I was to have a biopsy of two areas that showed up on the MRI.  My biopsy was scheduled for Feb 13th.

I have an appt. with Dr. D Monday the 18th but the pathology came back early.  I received a phone call Friday afternoon. 
I have breast cancer.  The report points to a very early form called ductal carcinoma in situ.  At this time the prognosis seems to be excellent.  Later this week I will see an oncologist and will begin genetic testing.  

As you can see the last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have clearly seen God's hand in all of this.  Tests done within hours and studies being authorized in hours instead of weeks.  I am so thankful that we were able to find this at this stage.  The odds of finding it were stacked against us but God has been with us through it all.  Thank You to everyone who prayed for me and my family during these last 2 weeks.

Now on to the next chapter...

Valentine's Day

I Love my husband!    

Happy Valentine's Day Greg!  

Thank You for always standing 

by my side.  

My beloved is mine, and I am his
Song of Songs 2:16

My Moms Cobbler!

Recipe from my mom's blog.  :)

This cobbler receives rave reviews every time I serve it. Dish it up with ice cream for 
an extra yummy treat.

Fruit Cobbler

5 cups fruit

Batter:

3/4 cup sugar

1/8 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup butter

1 cup flour

1/2 cup milk

Topping:

1 cup sugar

1 Tbsp flour

pinch salt

1 cup boiling water

Place fruit, fresh or canned in a 9 x 13 pan. Thoroughly mix all batter ingredients and pour 
over fruit (I soften the butter in the microwave). Combine sugar and flour and salt; sprinkle 
evenly over top of batter.  Do not mix in!! Carefully pour boiling water over all. (I usually 
put the fruit with batter and topping on a cookie pan and then pour the water so there 
are no accidents) Bake one hour at 375 deg.

This is an amazingly easy and delicious cobbler!

Monsters in the closet

"There's no such thing as monsters", that's what our parents told us.  But today when I was getting dressed I found 2 monsters in my closet!  (I don't know about you but I definitely think that a 2 and 5 year old could be classified as monsters).

Beef Bourguignon

Beef Bourguignon, no I am not french (much) but this is one of favorite dishes.  I first became interested in this recipe, after watching Julie and Julia, which I thought was a pretty good movie (who am I kidding I love Amy Adams!).  I decided to try it so I googled Julia Childs recipe and gave it a shot.  It had some pretty antiquated techniques and it didn't seem very healthy so I tweaked it a bit and I think my way is easier (and a bit healthier).  So if you like Beef stew you will probably like this, it is richer but Oh so good!

Preheat oven

Slice 3 carrots and 1 onion

Cut a Chuck Roast into 2 inch pieces and brown in 2 tbsp of Olive oil

Make sure to dry beef before putting in oil so that the meat browns properly.

Brown the Beef in batches and then remove from pan and set-aside

Next add the veggies and cook until the onions are soft

They should look like this

Add the beef and 2 tbsp of flour and stir it all around coating all the beef and veggies

place it in the oven uncovered and cook for 4 minutes.  Remove from oven and stir again 

place back in oven for 4 more minutes then remove.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Next add 3 cups of wine (which is about a bottle) and then add enough beef broth to cover

meat and veggies about 2-3 cups.

Add 1 bay leaf and a spoonful of tomato paste.

 Reduce heat to 325

Cover pot and place in oven.  Cook for 3-4 hours, check the meat

and when it easily is pierced with a fork it is done.

After you take the Beef Burgandy out of the oven, sautee mushrooms in butter and olive oil about a tbsp of each.  Add the cooked mushrooms to the stew.

Serve over mashed potatoes.

Bon Appetit

Ingredients
2-3 lb Chuck Roast cut up into 2 inch chunks
Olive oil
3 Carrots Sliced
1 Onion Sliced
Salt and Pepper
2 Tbsp Flour
1 Bottle Red Wine (I use Merlot)
2-3 Cups Beef Broth
2 Cloves of Garlic-mashed
1 Bay leaf
1 Spoonful of Tomato Paste
Mushrooms

Pumpkin Patch

Norah recently had her first school field trip and boy was she excited, not about going to the pumpkin patch but about riding the bus!  I think if that had been the field trip she would not have been disappointed.  This year her school went to the Willamette Valley Fruit Co. and we were given a tour of the facility.  We took a hay ride, got lost in a corn maze that was super muddy, and some of the kids did the zipline.  What a blast!  You see that slide a couple of pictures down?  I have an awesome picture of Norah's teacher coming out of it but I decided to spare her.

Comfort Food

It's fall and that means comfort food!  I am looking forward to using my fall cooking repertoire.  These are a few of my favorites.

Clam chowder
Swiss steak
Stroganoff
Beef bourguignon
Corn chowder
Beef stew



 I will also be trying some new recipes such as pulled pork.  What are some of your favorite comfort foods?

Warrior Dash

That's right we are the Warriors!

 Pre-Dash

 2 bee stings later and a pit of mud!

 So much fun!

Our reward: Beer and Turkey legs

(for a more detailed account check here)